The Wisdom We Share Podcast

Redefining Ageing, Purpose & Reinvention with Faith Agugu

• Anjani Amriit & Robin Wald • Season 1 • Episode 18

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 47:09

Message us with your thoughts, burning questions, or reflections, we’d love to hear from you.

In this deeply honest and inspiring conversation, we sit down with psychotherapist, healer, and founder of Silver Sirens, Faith Agugu, to explore what it truly means to age with purpose, authenticity, and freedom. 
 
Faith shares her personal journey from working in the fashion industry to rebuilding her life through psychotherapy, spiritual healing, and community leadership in her 50s. Together, we unpack the narratives society places on women as they age, the emotional realities of menopause, identity shifts, motherhood, reinvention, and why midlife may actually be one of the most liberating chapters of life. 
 
We also explore: 
• The difference between how ageing is perceived for men and women 
• Why women often fear physical changes and identity loss 
• The emotional impact of empty nesting and childlessness 
• Faith’s Nigerian heritage and how it shaped her perspective on ageing and community 
• The importance of authenticity, purpose, and reclaiming your voice later in life 
• Why Faith believes ageing is not a decline, but a metamorphosis 
 
This episode is a powerful reminder that your life does not diminish with age. In many ways, it expands. 
 
About Faith Agugu: 
Faith Agugu is a psychotherapist, healer, and founder of Silver Sirens, an age-positive movement and community for women over 50 that celebrates wisdom, vitality, leadership, and meaningful connection. 
 
Become part of the Silver Sirens community and join their monthly giveaway. 
 
Use code FLOW26 to receive $26 off your Annual Membership. 
Use code FLOW26+ to receive $126 off your Lifetime Membership. 
 
Connect with Faith and Silver Sirens: 
Website: www.silversirens.org
Instagram: @silversirens_redefiningageing 

Thanks for listening to The Wisdom We Share.
If this episode sparked something in you, follow, leave a review + share it with someone who’s walking a similar path.

🔗 Connect with Anjani

🔗 Connect with Robin

🎧 New episodes released regularly
Be sure to follow to get all new episodes and insights direct to your inbox.

SPEAKER_03

I think what really got my attention with this idea about the narrative around aging was the difference between the way the narrative was for men, which was very positive and very um um forgiving, you know, it was very much around the dashing silver fox, you know, distinguished older man. And for women, it was really about decay and deteriorate, you know, deterioration and loss of value. And that's really what got my attention. I think, I think if that there wasn't a distinction, I think I would have let it pass. But I got so angry, and anger is such a fantastic emotion to get us moving. I got so angry that aging, it was so unforgiving for women, but so positive for men, and that's really what got my attention. And the reality is men have their own challenges, you know, and I'll speak to the men first and I'll go back to the women. You know, men have their own challenges, and I think sometimes we do men a disservice when we assume that it's easy for them.

SPEAKER_02

Welcome to the Wisdom We Share podcast, where ancient truths and modern intelligence weave together to inspire, ground, and shape us for a wider, awakened life.

SPEAKER_00

I'm Angela Emrit, and I'm Robin Wall, and together we bring you fascinating conversations from the world of spirituality, science, and human behavior so you can connect to your own inner wisdom, joy, and clarity, elevating the way you actually live your life.

SPEAKER_02

Today we're joined by a woman who I have personally known for over a decade now and who I know to be someone of integrity, and someone who really walks her talk, Faith Agugou, a psychotherapist, healer, and community architect. She is reimagining what it means to grow older, find purpose, and reclaim agency at every stage of life through her private practice, the healing process. Faith supports women to heal emotional wounds, dismantle limiting narratives, and reconnect with their truth. As the founder of Silver Sirens, Faith has cultivated an age-positive movement for women over 50, celebrating wisdom, community, and life's second act as a time of leadership, vitality, and contribution. In a world that too often marginalizes aging women, faith stands as a visionary, challenging stereotypes, inviting deep inner work, and championing a narrative where experience, wisdom, and curiosity are not just respected, they are revered. Today we're going to explore her path, her philosophy, and the insights that she's distilled from decades of lived experience and professional practice. Faith, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_03

Welcome. Thank you for having me, Anthony and Robin. It's really

From Fashion Industry Burnout to Psychotherapy at 51

SPEAKER_03

great to be here.

SPEAKER_01

So, Faith, I don't know. Um I know Anthony knows you for a long time. This is my first introduction to you, and I'm so pleased to meet you. I'm wondering, for my benefit and the benefit of the listeners, if if you might just tell us a little bit about what drew you to psychotherapy and then what drew you sort of to this sub category of looking at aging and women as we age.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. So what drove me to psychotherapy was I I think the the obvious next step. I'd been working in fashion for 30-something years, and my then business and raw fashion agency, I was really struggling with it. You know, the GFC hit, and I knew that I had to close the doors. It was really difficult for me to actually accept that because as a woman without children, I had so much of my identity wrapped in that business, you know. So when I got to that place of realizing that there was no way forward and I had to let it go, I actually dropped into a very deep depression. And it took me a little while to kind of navigate myself out of that. But in that space, I really leaned into a lot of my spiritual practice, and I had trained as an energetic healer. So I had been seeing clients on and off, you know, for a few years together while also doing my fashion business. And I then felt that well, I'm already, I already have clients, so moving into psychotherapy felt like the next right thing to legitimize. And I used that quote because I found that there was a little bit, some people had some skewed views about what it meant to be an energetic healer, and some were quite reluctant to come and see me or take me seriously. And it felt like I needed the paperwork of becoming a psychotherapist and doing the degree to suddenly legitimize my practice, and that's exactly what happened, which is unfortunate, but that's what happened. So when I when I went to uni at 51 to study psychotherapy, and I incorporate my my practice now, incorporates a lot of that energetic work and also the spiritual work, the somatic work with the psychotherapy, which I find is a really nice mix.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it's it's a deep practice and wisdom that you bring to everyone that you work with. Um your work really, as you said, spans

Leadership, Purpose, and Growing Up in Nigeria

SPEAKER_02

healing psychotherapy. It also is about community building and leadership. And when you look back, what was the earliest sense that you know your deeper purpose or calling was to support others through not just transformation but also aging in that aging process?

SPEAKER_03

I guess the aging came much later because it's something I hadn't thought about until it actually hit me. But in terms of that leadership, you know, my father was a community elder and leader in Nigeria. I was born in Nigeria, I'm from the Delta state of Nigeria, so we are the Joe tribe, and my father was saying the equivalent of the governor of New South Wales, for example. So he was one of the men that was instrumental in building our state. Our state is called River State. So I learned about leadership in observing him, and he always said from the very beginning, so the first thing I learned from him was that our lives had to be much more than being about ourselves and getting stuff. And I was always clear, it was always said our lives has to be about what we can bring to others. And I remember that, and I took that on so much that my very first job when I left school was actually not to get a paid job, was to get a volunteer job. And I started working with a local community group working with disadvantaged children, and that's kind of where it started, and that was at 19. But before then, in terms of leadership, because people have called me a leader, and I just go, oh, that feels really weird. I I find it hard to kind of really reconcile with it. But when I look back, you know, I was I was head girl at school. I was going to school in the UK, I was the very first non-white black head girl. I was also prefect, I was also class captain. So all of those things were always was happening in my life, but I never really understood it as being a leader. So I guess in that sense, it's something that's been it's part of my so-calling, I guess, you know, because it has I've seen that over and over again. And, you know, when I even when I was working in the fashion industry, I started a group called Sister Link, which was for just to support small businesses. All of us had our own little small businesses, but we were all in silos trying to figure it out. So I started this group to bring us together to share ideas, you know, on how we were coping in our own businesses. So I guess that theme has always been there, and now of course it's manifested as a civil siren. So that's I think I feel like it's been an organic growth.

SPEAKER_01

I I really appreciate what you said about your father

The Powerful Lessons Faith Learned From Her Mother

SPEAKER_01

and the leadership that he embodied and exemplified that you saw, and then his actual words and teachings to you about how to live a life of values, you know, really values-based. I'm wondering if you could tell us a little bit about what your mother imparted to you, was to be a leader in her own right and what it's mean to mentor you around.

SPEAKER_03

You know, but thank you so much for bringing her in. I just feel I actually feel emotional when you said it. I spoke to my mother this morning. My mother's 89, she's not very well. But the dynamic with them was quite interesting because my father was this very high profile, extremely educated man. And my mother was 15 years younger, 15 when they got um, when they got engaged. She was 15, he was in his 30s, and she was an illiterate village girl, you know, and and yet, you know, my father was, even though he had this big profile, it was actually my mother that was the instigator and the drive. She's the one that got things done. And I always talk about my mother with such pride because it was in her 50s that my mother learned to read. You know, she went to yeah, so she'd worked and you know, she'd worked and you know, managed to get through life without being able to read and in her 50s learned to read. So she she teaches me that tenacity, that strength, that resilience that it doesn't matter if you don't fit the mold of success, you know, you are successful, you can be successful. And I saw her as an extremely successful person. You know, she had some in terms of say financially, she had such little money compared to my father, but yet she was so smart and wise with it. My father just flaunted it and and it just all went. But my father left us nothing in terms of financial as my mother. She just very, very carefully put money away. She built houses for us in Nigeria. We've got land, you know. So I to me, she's my hero. She's my absolute hero. And I learned so much from her, and she's very beautiful, she's very much about caring for and tending to the people in their lives, and she does that in so many beautiful ways, seen and unseen, you know. So that's all behind boards with a lot of her qualities.

SPEAKER_01

I was gonna say, I'm sure she's so proud of you, and that you really followed in her footsteps by you returning to university to take on this massive undertaking of a brand new professional degree in your 50s.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Thanks for pointing that out, and everybody thought of that. You're absolutely right.

SPEAKER_02

No coincidence at all.

SPEAKER_03

No.

SPEAKER_02

I I'm interested

Spirituality, Culture, and the Western Fear of Ageing

SPEAKER_02

to dig deeper into your heritage. You're from Nigeria. There is because I know you, I know this about you, there's this deep sense of belonging and where you come from. You know, you say I am of this tribe and I come from these are my people, which we in the West we have no sense of that. We are very disconnected, we're untethered from that sense of community connection tribe. So tell me a little bit, tell us a little bit about your connection, your tribe, and how that the culture of that has informed you when it comes to silver sirens and aging and and how that culture looks at and regards aging.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. It's interesting. I was not born on my land, you know. I was born in Lagos, which is the capital of Nigeria, where where my family's from would be about a two-hour flight from Lagos. So the capital was where I was born, and that's where I've returned to. But in terms of the spirituality, I say the spirituality of the land, what one of the things I really loved in the stories my mother used to always tell me was how deeply connected the the women were in their inner world. And she would talk about, you know, if she had a dream about another woman, when she woke up, both women will be very clear about what was in the content of the dream. Both were very present in the dream, you know, and I would really be fascinated by those stories, you know. And I remember even myself as a young child having that strong connection with spirit, you know, and I would wake up in the middle of the night and I would go out and I would see, and I know I wasn't making it up. I would see spirit, you know, and I would be guided by spirit and I'd talk to spirit and I would laugh at spirit and I would play with spirit, you know. And I remember coming to the UK and telling somebody that, and saw the looks on their face and realized that uh-uh, you're not allowed to say that in this space. So I really learned very quickly in the West that stuff was not okay, and you had to keep it inside. I mean, luckily I'm with my family, so we could talk about it, but I learned that very quickly. So for me, I love the idea of being very close to my inner world and that's that interior world, you know, that closeness, and and that I don't have to, I don't have to um be afraid of it, actually, it's probably a really big thing. So I remember telling people about you know playing with spirits and they'll be like, oh my God, you know, and I never learned to be afraid of it, you know. So that was beautiful. And then my cultural attitude to aging, you know, which like I said, when I started civil science, I hadn't thought about aging at all, only because all the messaging I had were very, very positive. And that's what I picked up from my culture and I saw in my mother because I just saw a 50-year-old woman who absolutely blossomed. So that messaging was it's a really positive time, you know, and the reverence that we will have around aging. So when it came to civil sirens, and I started to get women come to see me with age-related anxiety, it was quite baffling for me because I'd worked in the fashion industry. I knew there was ageism, but I thought that was specific to fashion and beauty. I had no idea how prevalent it was, you know. So for me, I just took it for granted that everyone else was excited about getting older, you know. So yes, clearly my culture really informed that attitude.

SPEAKER_01

On your website, you talk about wanting to challenge age-related stereotypes and stigmas. I'm wondering what you noticed in say Western culture and what are some of the predominant stigmas and stereotypes around, specifically around women as they age, and also if you have any insight as a psychotherapist into the stigmas around men as they age as well, because we're all human beings and we're all psychologically affected by our own aging process. But I don't know if you can comment on the differences as well.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And look, and I I think what really got my attention with this idea about the narrative around aging was the difference between the way the narrative was for men, which was very positive and very um um forgiving. You know, it was very much around the dashing silver fox, you know, distinguished older man. And for women, it was really about decay and deteriorate, you know, deterioration and loss of value. And that's really what got my attention. I think, I think if that there wasn't a distinction, I think I would have let it pass. But I got so angry, and anger is such a fantastic emotion to get us moving. I got so angry that age and it was so unforgiving for women, but so positive for men, and that's really what got my attention. And the reality is men have their own challenges, you know, and I'll speak to the men first and I'll go back to the women. You know, men have their own challenges, and I think sometimes we do men a disservice when we assume that it's easy for them. And we posed the question in 2022 at one of our Silver Sirens conferences is aging easier for men? We challenge that. Is it easier? We had three men on a panel, and all of them agree that it was not. You know, men do not have the natural uh ability to create community as we do. So a lot of men after um retirement, a lot of men, the suicide rate really go up because suddenly their sense of value and who they were in the world is taken away. You know, men are not the best at, and this is generalized, and of course, taking care of themselves, you know, reaching out to their community when they need that support and to be held. And we know there are so much, so much um um data around the health factors of community, of being held, have been supported. So men don't have that, you know. So when we think about then with women, the narrative tells women that it's all over, you're over the hill, you all have no value because your value is around your usefulness or your ability to create to create children, you know, to birth children. Now you no longer have that, you no longer have a value. So therefore it's downhill from now. So those are the those are the myths and the narrative that for me, I really wanted to get my teeth into and to change because the reality was the women I saw around me over 50 were not that. They were thriving and they were living life with so much more freedom and all that zero fuckness where they didn't care anymore, they didn't have to, you know, fawn and be and be people pleasers anymore, or or dance to the beat of someone else's drum. They could reclaim and they could really step into their authenticity. That was very exciting.

SPEAKER_02

In terms of fighting

What Women Fear Most About Getting Older

SPEAKER_02

for women as they're getting older, 50s and beyond, what is it that Western women are most scared of? And from your experience, what are they most scared of as they come up to that? And I I do believe it is a is a bridge, you know, across which we traditionally would have had ritual to welcome us into the next, the final phase of life, you know, the white womanhood. What do you see as the thing that uh brings the most fear for women in in the West? And what is it also from your experience that you would like to share with anyone listening today who is either coming up to that benchmark or has passed it and is feeling like, well, that's it, you know, I'm I'm of no use, I'm not respected, I'm not valued. What message would you have for them in terms of helping them recognize their own uniqueness?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I think you know, we talk about the things women fear, uh, it makes me sad that a lot of it is around the physical changes. You know, a lot of it is around that their bodies are changing. And, you know, we know that the things we used to do when we're younger, if we go to the gym or we run, our bodies may respond to that. You know, suddenly we get to you know, perimenopause and menopause, and no matter what we do, for a lot of women, they're starting to put on weight. And a lot of women are really confronted with that. A lot of women are really confronted with the changes in their faces and the changes in their hair, and and that's sad because it's most of that is physical. But that's what a lot of women, when they come to me, it's usually we unpack that, and then we go into what's going on with them emotionally, and a lot of that is around identity. So if a woman hasn't had children, for example, a lot of women, there's a lot of grief that they've come to a place where it's no longer a possibility, it's done, you know. So women have to go through a whole lot of process around coming to terms with that and healing that whatever that void is, and really looking at what does uh you know, how do they express motherhood without physically birthing? And because that was my own story, I went through my own process from, and I always say this shifting from childlessness to to to shifting to child free because it's a it's a mental shift, you know, there's a real void around, oh my god, I didn't I missed out and have children, to wow, I didn't have children, so I've got all this space to to mother other projects and other communities. And I think that's clearly what's happened to me, that my mothering is very different, you know. And then the other thing that people women come to me is around their identity and the change of roles, you know. So the ones that did have children, the children are leaving. I don't think we give enough credit to how much pain women feel around that, you know, when their role as mothers and the validation they get from being mothers, and suddenly the children have left and they feel that sense of being discarded, and they might hear from their child once a month, or you know, the child's off living their life, the grief that a lot of women feel and that sense of reshifting their role and identity, it's a really, really big one that I work with a lot of women involved. You know, and if we talk about like what advice, you know, to give women, I would say, even though it feels like, especially when women are coming towards

Why Midlife Can Become Your Most Authentic Chapter

SPEAKER_03

per menopause, even though it feels like everything is being smashed and dismantled, and that you can't believe that life there is a life beyond this, or you believe that all the best parts of your life is gone, that is so the opposite, you know, that you're just about to go through a magical metamorphosis, you know, and like literally the chrysalis, you're about to go through that and emerge this much more brilliant, authentic, shinier version of yourself. If you lean into it, it's a calling, you know, it's a calling. Brene Brown says, you know, it's not a midlife crisis, it's a calling. And if you lean into that, this is what's an offer to you, and I'm a living example of that, you know, is that six. Year old. I'm going to be 61 this year. And my 50s were around that shedding and really moving into the authenticity.

SPEAKER_01

So interesting. I have three children and they're all adults. And so I've gone through all the stages of mothering young children and teenagers and sending them off to college and empty nesting. And then divorced, where I found myself, you know, without my children and without a partner and reinventing life for myself. And I have to say, 50s and beyond has been freaking fabulous because it's been on my farms right now. The thing is when you're in a partnership and you're mothering stone, much of that is putting other people's needs and desires ahead of your own stuff. It really involves a lot of sacrifice and generosity to afford you plate yourself second. And I remember my therapy said to me what we're trying to get you to do is plate yourself at the top of the list. And I was like, I could never do that if not place myself at the same level as my children. But my children feel like they're always going to come first or at least equal. Like, how can I put myself first and I have to say that in recent years? Like all of my own choices about how I want to live my life and what I want to do and where I want to go and who I want to include in it. And all of my creative projects and endeavors have really been about putting my own desires first and my own needs first. And I think that that is a freedom, a new freedom that I never had until my 50s. So what you're saying, I'm I mean, I can understand that women struggle with that. And I have coaching clients as well who are like, I'm ready to reinvent, but I don't know what that is yet. I don't know. I've always I've spent so much of my life in one identity and role that I don't even know what is next. And then we do that work of exploring that. Yeah. Can you tell us more about Silver Sirens and how does that support women? What's the goal of that group and what is what kind of events or programs do you run through that?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. It's funny. I feel I feel like my therapy practice and silver sirens are my two children. And the therapy practice is a sensible child that gets all A's and doesn't cause me any problems. And you know, that really good child. And then Silver Sirens is the naughty one that's secretly your favorite child, you know, because me all the growing pains, you know, and it it it it it um forces me to grow and be my biggest self at every stage of the way. So it's a really interesting. I know I'm not quite answering your question, but I just needed to say that, you know, right up front. Because when I think about it, I feel very emotional about it because I absolutely love the work that I do there. But you know, civil science was born purely from that space of seeing, seeing that there was a gap, seeing that women were coming to me feeling depressed about aging, really internalizing the messaging that they were seeing out there. You know, the fact that they didn't see any role models on TV or news readers, you know, there was like that Canadian newsreader that allowed her hair to go grey and she was fired. And we've got so many stories like that. So we didn't have the role modeling, and that's that stuff that we hear the cliche, you can't be what you can't see. You know, all of those things made me want to make a difference, you know, like our conference was called Redefining Aging, and I really wanted to redefine it from what I was hearing the other women were believing to be how we're supposed to age to us rewriting that, you know. So that passion about coming together, and then that's how it started. And Angie was part of that very first process as well, from the very first event we had eight years ago, 2018, when it's like I've got this great idea, but what do I do? So bringing women together is what I do. So we had a conference, we had a full-day conference, and we had women talk on different topics around aging, and that's kind of evolved since then. So it was just an annual conference because I worked full-time and I didn't really have time to do much more. But then when we got to COVID, I decided that I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna skip. Most people were not were canceling events. I decided I wasn't gonna cancel the event, we were just gonna put it online. So we did it online, and then from there, our annual events were hybrid, and then we started to add some online resources. So now we are a platform where a woman who wants to thrive through midlife and beyond can get a whole number of resources, events, and community to support them, to walk with them as they travel through that journey, you know, this most exciting journey.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it's interesting you say, Faith, because I've known you and I've and I've seen you go through all the growing pains of you know, from the first idea that it landed in you. I remember we were swimming and you were telling me about it to today and you saying it, you know, it's my naughty child. I do believe that any real true calling that we have that comes from our the depths of our soul, it works us, you know, it grows us, and it is like constant growing pains because it constantly asks us to step up more and show, speak up more, and do all the things that our beautiful egos are terrified of. And I love that you shared your vulnerability about that today, because despite all of that, what I do know about you is it doesn't stop you going, you know, and you stay true to your calling and you stay true to your leadership, especially when inside everything's wobbling and everything feels vulnerable and everything feels unsafe. And and that is courage in action, and that's what it takes to lead a community, to lead people into a different paradigm, a new paradigm, which is what you are birthing. Um, and so I want to congratulate you for that. I think I think it's amazing the work that you do and continue to do. And your work through the Ubuntu sister circle. Can you share a little bit about that as well? Because you not only have the Silver Sirens in your cycle, they're gonna do this as well. So, can you share a bit about what that is and what you do with that?

SPEAKER_03

Well, Ubuntu Sister Afro Sister Circle is actually finished. The last year was our last year of it. So Ubuntu Afro Sister Circle started the same year actually at Silver Sirens for, and it was roughly around the time of you know the George Floyd incident, etc. I think we started a couple of years before then. But I was a group of black professional, I live in Australia where there isn't a huge amount of women of African descent, a group of black professional women just you know came, some of them I was seeing one-on-one in therapy anyway, but they asked me to start the group because I just felt that, you know, it was really difficult being constantly being in white spaces and how they navigate that and some of the challenges that came up for them. And they didn't necessarily want to just be in a group where they were just talking about how hard it was, but they just wanted to be in a group where other women were striving and and um and supporting each other and and pushing through the challenges of being in those white spaces, you know, and that's really why how we started. So was a group of 12 professional black women, and we started and we looked at everything, you know, we looked at the ancestral style, we looked at every form of mental health, we looked at our legacy, we looked at everything. And it was really beautiful being able to walk along those women and see them in their own way thrive. And all of those women now are doing all amazing things, and and it just came to a very natural end, and I just sensed that it was time to like let everyone fly because they were all doing really, really well. But I was it was beautiful, you know. We would do 12 weeks and then have a break and then do another 12 weeks. I would walk along with those women for over six years and a really beautiful journey. And you know what it's like when you coach, you both coach. There's always that sense that they're growing me, that you know, I was growing through the work I was doing. They were actually helping me, and I really, really sensed that.

SPEAKER_01

That's amazing, and also that you can allow for the natural completion of something, right? So, not everything has to continue forever, right? We have things that are alive for a certain time that they need to feed and grow, and then there's a natural time to say, okay, this is this is done, and we can bring honor to it and then move to the next thing. So I do have a question that goes back to your past and also to your presentation because the first thing I noticed when you jumped on was that you are gorgeous and you're fashion and fabulous. It's like obviously like you you know how to dress yourself and you look confident in what you're wearing. I didn't even know you had a background in fashion. So even though you left fashion and that career in the past, I'm curious how that still informs you as a woman as you age, and why is fashion still important and how you choose to present yourself.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Look, I think for me, I think fashion is just an expression like every other sort of expression. And you know, I remember there was a time I worked in the fashion industry and I was off doing spiritual things at the weekend, and it was like I couldn't allow these two worlds to meet. You know, it's like, oh my God, my fashion people would be like, oh my god, you're doing that weird woo-woo thing. And then my my spiritual community would be like, oh, you're involved in that frivolous, shallow thing called fashion. And there was a point when I was in Byron Bay, this beautiful area in Australia. I was in Byron Bay and I was meditating, and I just thought, I'm sick of keeping these two worlds apart. I'm gonna bring them together. And I just started an Instagram group page called Guru Where's Gucci. And for me, it was just a pistake, it was just like a pistake of bringing my two worlds together because I just thought I'm not hiding anymore, I am both of these things, you know. So I absolutely adore fashion and I had a really fantastic experience. You know, I started off at 16 as a model, and a lot of people always say to me, you know, I'll go that I bet it's really hard in that world, and people are not very nice. And I did not find that. I found that models are really hardworking with a lot of integrity, and the ones that actually make it have to be that way, you know, they have to be that way, and that's what I had around me. So my experience in the fashion industry wasn't bitchy and and negative, it was actually very, very positive. And you know, there is a natural part of me that loves beauty, the love nice things. And I'm a Taurian, you know, a ruled by Virgo. So I just don't fight that. Yeah, I don't fight that. I love that about me, you know. And as does it inform me now, I've always I've always felt that fashion is just another way of self-expression. And I I'm not into the trends, I've never been, even when I worked in the industry, and I'm really about people expressing themselves in an authentic way, whatever that looks like. So go and wear something mad when people go, oh, green doesn't go with orange. Who cares? And who said that? Like that's just madness to me. You know, it's about just whatever you feel like. And I often like having days where I let my inner child express me, you know, and I go, You choose actually this is her today, you know. She wanted to put the orange and and pink together. I love that. And so for me, how does it inform me? It's continual self-expression, and that idea of a mutton dress as lamb, like I don't none of that makes any difference to me. For me, I love as I'm aging, there is like I love the long silks and the floaty, I love all that, you know, and that's that wasn't the case when I was younger, so I can feel my fashion sense evolving, and then every now and then I just want to just be crazy and I just let myself do that.

SPEAKER_02

So yeah, yeah, I I I relate to that too. I've always loved fashion, and I used to think it was vacuums, you know, like, oh, I I'm deeply spiritual, but I also love fashion and I love dressing. But for me, I realized the same as you, Faith, that it's a it's a creative expression for me. And what I wear has to reflect how I'm feeling. So I I sometimes take a while to get dressed because I have to feel how I'm feeling and dressed according to how I feel in the day I just put something on. A lot of people don't get that, and they just go, Well, you've got too many clothes, and why are you doing all those clothes and all those shoes and all those jackets? I'm like, well, I need to be able to express myself. Um so I also feel like the two can definitely come together because they're self-expression, they're creativity, um, and and it brings a lot and it says a lot about us. And as we age, you know, that naturally can and I think should change. Um that we shouldn't try and look younger by how we dress, dress how we how we are, and you know, how as well, you know, be comfortable, but not doing it to try and look younger, but uh honouring ourselves and the age stage of our life. I think that's really important. And I think what what I want to ask you is around that kind of integrity, I think many people want to change systems, okay. Systems around, you know, how society views women, how society views women over 50, how society views black women as opposed to white women, uh transgenders. And often I think people want to change systems without first changing themselves or doing some of that inner work. What inner work do you believe is something that's non-negotiable if we're serious really about justice and inclusion?

SPEAKER_03

It's a deep one, but oh no, it's a beautiful one. I just I wish that every every podcast or interview I did would ask me that because that's my favorite place to be, you know. I felt from a very young age, I remember the age of 14, you know, I made a really, I was on a bus in London and I made a really clear decision. Like uh I I made the decision that uh traditional religion, this is just my experience, traditional religion wasn't for me. That there was so much that was contradictory, and there was so much that was not aligned with really loving and caring for fellow mankind. That's kind of how it felt for me. And I remember making that decision that there was something else, and leaning into that something else uh started for me my spiritual journey, and it started for me that seeking. And you know, I was so grateful when I learned meditation. You know, I started to dabble with meditation, I lived meditation a little bit when I was in the UK, but it was it was when I came to Australia that I found, you know, meditation really like in a really strong way. And it was the Friends of the Western Buddhist Society, they were my first group and that I learned you know traditional meditation with. And since then, you know, I stayed with them for about 10 years, then I moved on to Shanti Mission, which was like a Hindu space, and then other groups. So I refer to myself as a spiritual magpie because I do kind of peck here and there, take a little bit from here, a little bit from there, whatever feels right, you know, whatever my soul is looking for. But in terms of what is non-negotiable, that fitting with the divine is absolutely crucial. You know, I I would say for the last 20 years, just being able to sit down, and the the meditation practice over time has evolved and changes and becomes whatever is needed at a time, but just taking that time to sit and be with is just for me something that I could never, I would never, you know. And I feel and I say to people, walking out of my house without meditating, it's like walking out without washing my face or brushing my teeth. For me, it's exactly equivalent. I would not ever entertain that idea, you know. So that part of my practice, yes, is sitting down, you know, connecting with my divine, talking to my divine. I've I've stopped pleading or petitioning my divine, you know, and it'll be like, give me the nice car, where's the relationship? I've stopped doing that because I realized for me it doesn't work, you know. Again, is that the energy of I don't have, but it's really kind of just really leaning into and having that co-creative partnership, which is I've got the physical body, so my job is to take the physical action, and all of the outcomes are yours, and I just go with that flow with the outcomes, you know. So all of that stuff, and part of that is also connecting with the oceans because I just see the divine in nature, so you know that I swim most mornings, and it's that's kind of like a baptism to go into the water is a baptism and it's a reminder that I'm part of something so much bigger, you know. So those things are most negotiable. Something I think that's the right word. Non-negotiable, yes.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I think there are so many paths that somebody can take, whether it's traditional or alternative or very personal, and spirituality looks different. But the idea of doing a practice consistently and having it be as routine, as important, as foundational to your well-being as basic hygiene. That's a mindset stuff that I think you know doesn't always like not everybody gets to that point of recognizing we do it more with fitness and exercise. Like I really need to walk, I need to move my body, I need to wait better, you know, exercise, but the the spiritual and the physical are both, you know, muscles that need to be, you know, to work to be worked out and really exercised enough. So as we're wrapping off, um just are there any last words of wisdom that you have to a woman in her 50s, 60s, 70s, or beyond, right? Who is still wanting to live her absolute best, most powerful, amazing life. What what words of wisdom do you have to share?

SPEAKER_03

For me, what I'm really learning is, and I consider myself as I as I'm entered my 60s as an elder in training. You know, we're living a time where uh there is no initiation for these really important roles, you know, and I consider the next 10 years of my life my elder in training decade, and I really want to lean into what that looks like. And, you know, for me, the advice is what I'm seeing for myself is around the authenticity, you know, and it's really that shedding of the restrictions, the mantles, the programming, you know, and I and I want to say to women, even though that feels like the most scariest thing, as we walk into it, this is where we hit the bliss and the joy, you know, this is where when I'm no longer encumbered by what society says I've got the box of society I've got to fit into, and I can really just connect with spirit and allow spirit to work through me. So there's just this bliss and this joy that awaits us, you know, and I think that the reason why it this stage of our life is more perfect for it is because a lot of our day-to-day responsibility of charge wearing and making that business and that career is now behind us. Now we have this space to do this. The unique time for us to really lean into that and to do that. And it's going to look different from everyone for everyone. And I want every woman to know do not care, don't look at how it's playing up for anyone else, lean into your own guidance and your own inner voice. That would tell you everything you need to know.

SPEAKER_02

Profound and spoken from lived an embodiment of wisdom. I really want to say that. Um thank you for sharing not just your professional wisdom, but the heart and lived experience that really fuels and guides your work, your vision, that we grow into ourselves with age, that community heals what individual effort cannot, and that purpose and our calling, it's not limited by a number. And that aging is both profound and your wisdom, you know, really is something that is showing the way. You are a way shower for that. So, to everyone listening, I hope this conversation is an invitation to reframe aging, not as a loss, but as an opportunity, as Faith said, to look at your inner narrative with curiosity rather than judgment and to lean into that deeper spiritual connection, something that nurtures your well-being and potential. Um, Faith, where can people learn more about your work or join Silver Silence Sirens or engage the healing process?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, so for Silver Sirens, then go to silversirens.org. And for the our Instagram is silversirens underscore redefining aging. The same for Instagram and Facebook. And for the healing process, it's the healingprocess.com.au because I am based in Australia.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you so much. And thank you for joining us. Thank you so much for this conversation.

SPEAKER_01

Really, really just got so much out of hearing you speak. Thank you for sharing.

SPEAKER_03

Thank you, Robin. I really it was really lovely to meet you and always catching it. Always lovely to catch up with you. So we're catching up soon.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you, uh And until next time, this is the wisdom we share.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you so much for tuning in to the Wisdom We Share podcast. We hope today's episode sparked some new insight, imagination, and practical tools you can integrate into your daily life.

SPEAKER_02

Continue this journey with us by subscribing, sharing, and dropping us a review. Until next time, stay wise.

Head Shot

Anjani Amriit

Host
Head Shot

Robin Wald

Host
Head Shot

Faith Agugu

Guest