The Wisdom We Share | Spirituality, Consciousness & Inner Leadership

Why We Can't Focus and How to Get It Back with Angela Lockwood

• Season 1 • Episode 22

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"We say we want focus. We say we want more time. Then we waste both, knowingly."

That's Angela Lockwood, and she doesn't flinch saying it. Our distraction, she argues, isn't an accident or a willpower problem. It's a choice we keep making without ever stopping to notice.

This isn't a productivity chat about apps and hacks. It's a conversation about the wisdom underneath focus. Why awareness, not strategy, is the real first step. Why your body knows the truth before your mind admits it. And why the answer to feeling scattered is not to push harder, but to get gentler, slower, and more honest about your days.

Angela knows this from the inside. A serious head injury at 17 forced her to relearn focus from scratch, and taught her that the whispers, the tight jaw, the racing heart, are messages. Ignore them long enough and they stop whispering and start to shout.

If your attention feels hijacked and your life feels louder than you'd like, this one is a doorway back to yourself.

In this episode:

  • Why we set ourselves up to fail, knowingly, and how to stop
  • Why awareness has to come before any strategy
  • How to step back and see your own life clearly
  • The distraction of possibility, and how to actually choose
  • Using your body as a source of wisdom, in Angela's own words

About Angela Angela Lockwood is an occupational therapist, speaker and author who helps people navigate noise, distraction and the chaos of modern life. She wrote "The Power of Conscious Choice," hosts the podcast "Distracted," and teaches paediatric occupational therapy at Bond University.

⏱️ CHAPTERS

00:00 "We set ourselves up to fail, and we know it"

01:26 Welcome to The Wisdom We Share

02:07 Meet Angela Lockwood: therapist, author, observer of people

04:07 What is wisdom, really? 05:16 The head injury at 17 that changed everything

07:03 Why she teaches focus (because she had to relearn it)

09:38 How we set ourselves up to fail, on purpose

11:18 Awareness is the first step, not strategy

11:36 Stepping back: seeing your life like a painting in a gallery

14:05 What to do when you don't like what you see

17:07 The distraction of possibility, and how to choose

18:56 Logic versus intuition, and bringing both together

20:43 The divine feminine and the qualities we've buried

23:57 Why we're banning the word "woo woo"

25:26 Your body as a source of wisdom

26:29 Teaching children (and adults) to name what they feel

30:32 Connection everywhere, and disconnection from ourselves

33:31 What Angela does for fun, and how joy has reshaped

36:08 Two simple practices to start today

37:53 Where to find Angela

38:51 Closing reflections

Website: https://www.angelalockwood.com.au LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/angelalockwood6 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/angelalockwood_ Distracted (podcast): https://open.spotify.com/show/2QzyP1aKCn8LS5VdGDBWSn

Go deeper with Angela Loved this conversation? Explore her work at https://www.angelalockwood.com.au or listen to Distracted at https://open.spotify.com/show/2QzyP1aKCn8LS5VdGDBWSn

The Wisdom We Share is hosted by Anjani Amriit and Robin Wald. Subscribe, share, and leave us a review.

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SPEAKER_00

This is a little bit of a hard truth for people, is that we actually do set ourselves up to foul a lot. We say we want greater focus. We say we want more time. We say we want all these things. But if we actually look at what we do through our day, we waste a lot of time. We waste a lot of our attention. We waste a lot of our energy. And we also do it very knowingly, which it really, I guess, being again, I've said it already, but being an observer of people, I notice that we often, that setting ourselves up for failure, we almost know we're doing it. It's a very conscious decision, but yet we still keep doing it. But some of those things, I think the very first thing we need to do is be aware. Awareness, we can't make change without having an awareness of what we're doing. And whether that be somebody external bringing that to your attention, unfortunately, sometimes it is through sickness that, you know, the universe brings it to our attention that we have been pushing too hard, or whether it be just something happening in our lives where we realize that this is not what we thought it would be. And this is not how we felt thought we would wake up in the morning. This is not how we thought we would even age. So focus very much is something that awareness has to be the first step. Because without that awareness, it's just constant band-aids. We're just, you know, putting putting strategies on top of things that we don't know where it's coming from.

SPEAKER_03

Welcome to the Wisdom We Share podcast, where ancient truths and modern intelligence weave together to inspire, ground, and shape us for a wiser, awakened life.

SPEAKER_02

I'm Angenet Amrit, and I'm Robin Wald, and together we bring you fascinating conversations from the world of spirituality, science, and human behavior so you can connect to your own inner wisdom, joy, and clarity, elevating the way you actually live your life.

SPEAKER_03

Today we're joined by Angela Lockwood, an author, speaker, and occupational therapist who has spent decades helping people navigate noise, distraction, and the beautiful chaos of our modern lives. But in today's conversation, we're going beyond frameworks and productivity. We are exploring the wisdom beneath the focus, how Angela sees the world, how she's learned to listen to life's whispers before they come shouts, and what she's discovered about what it means to live intentionally, not just efficiently. Angela, welcome to the Wisdom We Share podcast. I'm so looking forward to seeing where this conversation takes us today.

SPEAKER_00

Thank you so much. What a beautiful introduction. I'm just sitting here thinking, oh gosh, I hope I come across that way because that person sounds like they have all the answers, but I certainly don't. But I I can't wait to see where the conversation goes.

SPEAKER_03

Even that is wisdom. To know that we don't have all the answers is wisdom in my mind. You know, we we often can get carried away thinking that we know everything and we get to a certain age and we think, oh, I've got it all covered, I've got everything I need for the rest of my life. And I think if we are eternal students, then we have a much more open mindset, which allows us to gain more wisdom. What do you think, Angela?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, absolutely. It's it's interesting how each year we age, well, I age, um, that we see it have a different perspective on so many of the different things. And I I often wish that I, you know, we always wish we had wisdom younger, but you can't. It's just something that, you know, we we develop over life with life experience. And as much as we sort of look at all the lines on our faces and all the things that are changing our bodies, what a beautiful time of life to be right now with knowing what we know.

SPEAKER_03

What's wisdom to you, Angela? What do you what would you say wisdom is?

SPEAKER_00

I thought you might have asked me this question. And I did, I have reflected on it a little bit. And even though I say with age comes wisdom, I've in my work as an occupational therapist, I've had a lot of children who have a lot of wisdom. You know, they've I've worked with a lot of children because of their life experience. You know, they're they're they might be 12 years old, but they've gone through so much. So I feel that wisdom is more a sense of knowing and having insight that maybe is at a deeper level as the superficial level of just what we see.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I really appreciate that response. And I also work with children, and I think with children have tremendous insight. That's a word you just used. There's some some insight beneath the surface, some deeper understanding. And I think sometimes we don't give kids credit for what they can teach us. Can you tell me tell us a little bit more about the work you've done as an occupational therapist? And how did you get into that field?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's a lovely question. Well, I never wanted to be an occupational therapist, to be honest. And this is probably where some of my wisdom comes from. At an early age, I had a quite a significant head injury. Um, I was 17 myself, and I never wanted to be an occupational therapist. I wanted to be a journalist. And um, it was during my rehabilitation from that head injury that I came in contact with an occupational therapist. And I remember watching her thinking, wow, that's a pretty special profession. I want to do that with my life. And so my my shift quickly turned, my life turned into being an occupational therapist. And it's interesting because you got to be careful what you say you don't want to do, because I feel like every time I say I don't want to do something, my life morphs into that. And uh I didn't want to work with children. And so I I traveled over to Canada and I I again met some really amazing people who had really lovely hearts for children. And so I was like, well, I want to do that now. So yeah, I became a pediatric occupational therapist. So my whole career alongside speaking and writing, but I've always worked with children and people who work with children themselves and just helping them bring out the best in our little guys and girls who, you know, just deserve the best start in life. So yeah, I've been very heavily influenced by pretty amazing people. And I guess being an observer of human behavior, I'm really inspired by people who see things at a deeper level rather than just sort of superficial, this is what I do for a job. I like some of the people who think deeply, care deeply, and so therefore do things that maybe are a little bit left afield.

SPEAKER_03

And in thinking deeply and caring deeply, words that really land in my heart, I have to say, where would you say your focus naturally goes when you are allowed to, or when you give yourself permission to let your mind wander and go to those places? Is you teach people to focus, don't you? What is it for you? Where does your mind go when you're focusing? And what is it about focusing that helps us think deeply and care deeply?

SPEAKER_00

So I have to be, it's almost like a disclaimer when people ask me why focus. It's because I challenged with it. I was challenged with it myself, having a head injury at such a young age. My brain just didn't work the way that it used to. And I was a very high-energy person who wants wanted to do a lot in life. You know, I had a lot of ambition. I have, I still do, I have uh a lot of things that motivated me. But at that time, my brain didn't work the way that I needed it to anymore. And my brain fatigued a lot quicker. I found I was distracted more, and I just needed to reteach my brain and what I found through that process. You know, I went to university, I've I've had my own company for 20 years. Through all of that, what I needed to do is realize that I can't be always on. I can't be always pushing myself. Otherwise, my brain just stops. It just goes, I've had enough. What I didn't want is for my brain to say I've had enough and to almost be damaging my brain. And I don't mean that in a way that I was doing it deliberately, but my brain needs to be cared for, as our all of our brains do. We need to be gentle with it, otherwise, it does eventually pull us up and it says, you've pushed me to a limit. And that's what I felt like my brain was doing a lot. So I had to teach it that as elements of being slow and being focused. So yes, it wasn't something that was just a natural thing for me. I had to learn it. And what I love through the work that I do is I can teach people that if you feel distracted, you can teach yourself to find focus, but also do it through a gentle way, not through a pushing and adding more to our plate.

SPEAKER_01

It's almost an oxymoron or a paradox, right? It's like you want to give your brain a rest from striving so hard, but then you have to be intentional and create focus and kind of master the mind in order to get to that place where the brain can be functionally optimal. So I'm wondering if you could tell us some more specifics about what you've noticed over all these years of experience in terms of what really does help the brain work optimally and find its ability to focus.

SPEAKER_00

If I can just start with what I find people do to set themselves up to fail, because I think this is a little bit of a hard truth for people, is that we actually do set ourselves up to fail a lot. We say we want greater focus, we say we want more time, we say we want all these things, but if we actually look at what we do through our day, we waste a lot of time, we waste a lot of our attention, we waste a lot of our energy, and we also do it very knowingly, which it really, I guess being again, I've said it already, but being an observer of people, I notice that we often that setting ourselves up for failure, we almost know we're doing it. It's a very conscious decision, but yet we still keep doing it. But some of those things, I think the very first thing we need to do is be aware. Awareness, we can't make change without having an awareness of what we're doing. And whether that be somebody external bringing that to your attention, unfortunately, sometimes it is through sickness that you know the universe brings it to our attention that we have been pushing too hard, or whether it be just something happening in our lives where we realize that this is not what we thought it would be, and this is not how we felt thought we would wake up in the morning. This is not how we thought we would even age. So focus very much is something that awareness has to be the first step. Because without that awareness, it's just constant band-aids. We're just, you know, putting putting strategies on top of things that we don't know where it's coming from. So I don't know if that answers your question, Robin, but that awareness part, yeah, I could talk about all the strategies after, but if you don't have that, the strategies after won't do anything.

SPEAKER_03

And and how do we get awareness from from your wisdom? How do you teach awareness? What is awareness? Because it's a big part of what I love sharing and talking about is awareness and self-awareness. So I'd love to hear your take on it.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. Often, well, people would hear me talk about this a lot, is the ability to step back. So very much if you look around at people, particularly, I see it. We're not learning. Unfortunately, it seems to be that we still keep wanting to push. But if we get caught in detail, in all of the minutia of what happens in our day, all of the thinking, all of the heaviness, if we try to work it out amongst all of that, then it just becomes confused, confusing. It becomes, we can't have perspective when you are so stuck in whatever it is for you that's happening. So that ability to step back from it all and to almost see like in an art gallery where you see a beautiful painting. We don't all go up and put our noses against the painting to see its beauty. You know, what you do is you see in the art galleries, people are standing in the middle of the room looking at the piece, and then they look at it from different angles and then they move up to it. And what we see by doing that is all of these different perspectives. And if we can do that on our own lives as well, and it can be something as simple as just having a routine in your day where you wake up in the morning and you just think about three things that you're looking ahead in the day, three things that are going to be great that's gonna happen. Now you don't know that's gonna happen, but if you already have that frame, your brain automatically starts to focus and gets evidence to support that image that you've already created. So that's it can be so, it doesn't have to be something like days out of your life to take a step back. It can be something so small. And it might be, you know, let's say before you go to bed at nighttime, you could do that as a reflective practice, looking back over your day and thinking, where did I actually did I waste time today? What worked for me, what didn't? And these things can take like one or two minutes. So that that thing about going, I don't have time to step back. It's actually that's that one of those things where we set ourselves up for failure, that we do have the time. It's just that we don't create the time, we don't place the importance of taking that step back so that we can bring awareness. Because I'll I'll wrap this up a little bit because I'll go off on a huge tangent here. But I think sometimes with awareness, what I see with people is that brings truth. And sometimes not knowing the truth is easier just to go through our day. But once we start to highlight what's really going on for us, then we have to do something about it, and that can be a bit tricky.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, it's not it's not easy, is it, Angela, to step out of ourselves and observe ourself and and do it objectively? Because even if we start to do that process, we're in the art gallery and we're taking a few steps back. Often, once we get that bigger perspective, we start to not like some of the things that we see. So, what would be your wisdom around that if we feel a little bit confronted? So we start this process, but then hey, I'm not sure I kind of I'm I feel a bit confronted or I don't like what I see here, what I'm seeing here about myself.

SPEAKER_00

And I think that's the fear for many of us too, is that when we do do that, it's the fear of what if I don't like it. But we don't often look and go, well, what if I'm actually nailing it? What if I'm doing a great job? What if this is actually the season I'm currently in and this is where I'm at? But some strategies definitely is if you do take that step back, first of all, well done, because that's a huge step in itself. When you go back and you sort of go, actually, I don't like how things are going, then of course the choice only comes down to you. And in my very first book, it's called The Power of Conscious Choice. And it's about we actually do have choices about how to make changes in our lives, but we sort of get overwhelmed. And this sort of comes back to that ability to focus. We get overwhelmed by all the possibilities, but what we don't actually realize is we just have to make it one choice, just one simple choice, and that'll shift things. But sometimes what we don't like or what we see that we don't like is a little bit too big for us to deal with ourselves. So tapping into people who really care for us, not necessarily those that are cheerleaders all the time. Like cheerleaders are great who go, good for you, you've got this, I believe in you. But sometimes we actually do need people to walk alongside us in those tricky times. So finding professionals who can do that or a trusted colleague, a trusted person in your life who maybe not will be your big, you've got this, well done. They might be the, yeah, you know what, right now we do need to look at this and we do need to explore this together. But I'm with you while we're doing that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that that's um it's a beautiful thing to remember that we are not solo beings in the world by ourselves having to figure it all out on our own. That, you know, awareness starts with us and the choice and free will is ultimately ours. But we have partners and professionals in the world who can support us. I mean, Angina and I are both coaches, and so we have the privilege of working with people who are choosing to have a relationship where we can be that person to walk alongside them and help them explore and create new awareness that maybe they didn't have. I'm curious if you know anything about the tarot, because as you were speaking, when you said that sometimes people are overwhelmed by too many possibilities, immediately what came into my mind was the seven of cups card in the tarot, in the minor canna, and in that card, there's a person who's looking at seven different cups, and in each one there's something different being offered. There's fame, there's riches, there's spiritual enlightenment, there's relationships, like all and the person is in shadow and kind of like it's not looking and not sure, like, oh my God, I don't even know which one they all look so wonderful, like where do I go next? And sometimes too many choices can actually be paralyzing. So what do you suggest as a strategy for someone who has really wonderful choices on the table before them, but they just feel stuck in terms of how to move forward and how to make a choice?

SPEAKER_00

Yes. Oh my gosh, I've got I've got so many questions of you from that. But it's interesting because I I have probably struggled with this a lot myself throughout my life. So the distract I call it the destruction of possibility. There are so many possibilities in life. Like you think of how many wonderful opportunities we've got right in front of us. And that opportunity has so many possibilities. And if you are somebody who wants to lead a full, fulfilling, wonderful life, then you want to have a go at everything, you know. And I I want, you know, you want to try new things, you want to grow, you want to step out of your comfort zone. But the challenge of that is sometimes we all of that keeps us stuck because we go, well, I don't know what to do. So it's not that we don't have the motivation to get out there and do things. We just want to do so many things we don't know what to choose. So the strategy and the recommendation I often say for people is you do just have to, there's sort of two things. Either just choose one and see where that path leads. So just choose one. It doesn't mean the others disappear, but that choice just leads to another choice and it leads to another choice. So it's not an ending of possibility, it's just that you've chosen that one path. Now that's an easy, very logical way of doing it. But the other side that I think people really need to, and it does take a little bit of time, and I guess it ties into that stepping back a little bit, but we do need to listen to what's right for us. So we do need a little bit of that time to just tap into our intuition because the logic we know. We know we've just got to choose, we've got to go, we know that. And you can even feel the energy of that is like it's a bit boring. I get the I get the logic, yes. But often the right path for us is the one that we know, but we're shutting down intentionally. What whatever that is, whether it be the fear, whether it be it's different to the path I'm currently on. So therefore it's going to be maybe a shock to other people, or it might be, you know, there's lots of stories that we tell ourselves in that moment. But we often know, and I do a lot of workshops for parents in when they're talking, particularly at the moment, around helping parents whose children and families feel very distracted. So they've lost a lot of that connection within the family. Parents know what they've got to do. And not just parents, but we all know what is best for us. But what we do is we have the logic speak louder than the intuition. And I I know I'm speaking to the right people here. You both were totally with me, I know, on this. But if we took the time to actually think, well, what actually is it that I want want to be doing? What do I know in my knowing that is the next best step? And if we can listen to that, the rest of the decisions just sort of fall into place. So we have like a logical path, we have an intuitive path, but how wonderful would it be if we can bring both of them into the one?

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I mean, you are to me delving into those realms of when you're talking about not pushing and not forcing and taking a step back and allowing your brain to rest and then tapping into your intuition, they're all the qualities of the divine feminine, they're all those qualities, and and this has been this topic and this subject has been hijacked for a very long time for decades and eons, and there for me there needs to be a resurrection of this aspect of self, and it's beyond any gender, but it's these qualities of connection, collaboration, dream state, intuition, imagination. Tell us a little bit about what your wisdom is around that space. I'd love to hear your take on it.

SPEAKER_00

Uh I I agree with you. I think we've we've and I know for myself, and I I can only speak for myself here, that when I am not myself, when I'm not living in my, if you want to put productive self, creative self, you know, if I'm not in my in my knowing of who I am, it's my logical brain kicks in and I become very wanting to organize and wanting to like label things and I want to, you know, like have clear my down downloads, you know, tray or make sure my inbox is clear. I get very logical and I know that when I move into that extreme logical space, that there is something not right in my life. That there is something that I'm not focusing on, or there's something I'm not dealing with. So I, that's my way of knowing, okay, Angela, there's something that you're not addressing right now because you're in your logical head. So I know that's sort of my bit where I go, okay, you haven't journaled for a couple of weeks. So I go back and I look at my journal and I'm like, yes, you haven't journaled for a couple of weeks. Or it might be that I haven't reached out to, you know, a trusted friend, or it might be that I haven't been as exercising as much. So I just know that when your logical brain kicks in and it feels like it's the dominant force, that that intuitive self is almost screaming to come out. And I know for me that's true anyway, that I and the minute I get into and I say, and I know a lot of people don't like this term, but when I get into that woo-woo, because that's let's face it, that's what a lot of people think it is. It's not. But when I get into that spiritual side of me or that intuitive side, that reflective side, then I come out. So it's like a resetting when I can get into that spiritual element of me. And spiritual element of me might be I go for a walk through, you know, in in where we live on a farm. So I go and walk down on the property, I sit next to the creek, I might do some writing, I might do a hard workout. So the same strategy doesn't work every single time, but it's about tapping into that. And I I keep talking, I know you can't see me, but I keep holding my belly as we're talking, and it's that's what I'm trying to get to. It's like that knowing of who I am and what I need is is where I need to reconnect.

SPEAKER_03

By the way, by the way, we are banning the word woo-woo. It's gone. We've cancelled it no more, no more, because it's not okay for us to keep continuing that that persecution when we are talking about something that is way more important and very significant for our health and well-being. So we've banned it. We've canceled it.

SPEAKER_00

Right. And I think that is a big that's become a big barrier for people, to be honest, that word in that word in itself, and the thinking that intuition is something that's out there, that's you know, not I think what what we've done in a in a to a point is we now think, how can I say it, that that is something that's out there for other people, but in intuition, spirituality, the knowing it's within all of us. And it doesn't matter what your gender is, we all have that within us, and it's not something that's out there that's yeah. I just I've worked with a lot of you know, male CEOs, and like I talk about these very same things with them, and once they get it, their power in terms of their personal power, their satisfaction, the way that they relate to other people shifts. So I I love because woo-woo is something that has people have been talking about for so long, and I think it's almost trivializes something that is so important and can really shift people.

SPEAKER_01

I would love to take this conversation into an understanding of the somatic and the embodied experience, because even you saying, Oh, you can't see, but I'm holding my belly right now, and that's what it feels like in my body to drop into the intuitive or to connect with it. Especially as an occupational therapist, I'm sure you have a lot of insight about how people's bodies are actually a huge source of wisdom, self-awareness, intuition. Like your body knows your body knows if you're listening to your body, you will sense, like you said, you know, this is being distracted by too many possibilities. And one of the antidotes to that is to just figure out for you what feels right. And I'm wondering in your experience, like, how do you guide people to use their body as sort of the litmus test for feeling? Like, where in your body do you feel this and what does it feel like? And how is that informing your wisdom around what it is you want to choose next?

SPEAKER_00

I love Robin. Clearly, you have worked with children before an occupational therapist, because it's definitely sensory processing, self-regulation is very much where we come from. And when I look at my work with children who, you know, they're getting very high rates of diagnosis, you know, impulsivity, distractability, all these words are framing a lot of children now. And my my work, and I I work at a university, Bond University, where I'm at set up a pediatric occupational therapy clinic, where I'm now educating occupational therapy students in pediatrics. And through my work with them, what I'm trying to teach the students, first of all, is how to tap into it themselves, but moving beyond the labels and moving beyond the logical terms for the child. And if we can help that child tap into when you are feeling whatever, you know, angry, if that's your if that's the child's word, where in your body do you feel that? And so we might get them to draw a picture and they we get them to, you know, they might draw a fire in their heart or you know, explosions coming out of their head. And so a big part of what we're doing is trying to get children to understand when I'm in this moment, my body feels this way, and we label that rather than you are angry, sad, mad, because that has such a different definition. Doesn't matter who you ask, but mad, if someone's or angry, people have different ways of interpreting what angry means. But for the child, if they can go, I am feeling like my head is getting really hot right now, my temples are pulsating, then that means for me I need to go and have a break. Now that when I look at the work we're doing in children with children is really powerful. But can you see how that also translates to adults? And what we find in our in our sessions is parents go, oh my gosh, I could so use this. It's like, yes, you can use this, because often that co-regulation with parents and children, that children will pick up on energetics as well. And so I see the work that I do as an occupational therapist very much around not is physic the physical knowing and tapping into that, but also very much around energetics. So that if we can create calm families, if we can create, you know, those environments when a child does feel dysregulated themselves, how do we, how do we help them feel safe and secure through the way we're being, rather than escalating ourselves and then, you know, dealing with the fallout of that? So yes, definitely I love Robin that you brought that to occupational therapy because it's really important. But I think we could all learn from that if we can. And I remember I did see a kinesiologist many times throughout my life. And I remember one of the most powerful sessions I had with her was she said, Ange, get out of your head and where does that feel? And I can remember that was so long ago, and it was such an important question. Get out of your head and where does that feel? And I just remember the minute I could do that, I felt such a significant energetic shift in me. And I thought that is so important for us all to learn.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, the the way we are being, you said, and that those words really leapt out for me because we are so transfixed with doing, and we don't even know that we can be. And those words of you know, being, how do we be bringing that sensory, having that sensory input is for me a key part of any human being's health and well-being. If we are unable to take a moment and check in with ourselves, how's my body feeling? What is my mind doing? What emotions am I having right now? Then we are disconnected from ourselves. So in an age of connectivity, the greatest irony, I think, is that we've got this massive disconnect with our own sovereignty. What would you say about that, Angela?

SPEAKER_00

Oh, absolutely, my head's nodding so much here because it's the disconnect. We so want connection, but again, it's that setting ourselves up for failure that I sort of mentioned at the beginning, and whether or not we're deliberately doing it or unknowingly doing it, that disconnect. And I've, you know, I've had a lot of clients who almost describe that they're watching themselves in their day. They feel like it's an out-of-body experience. Now you feel that, like automatically, my heart and my chest tightens when I even feel that for them. So imagine what that feels like when you are going through the day-to-day activities of your life and you feel like you're outside of all of that. And that is, as you say, the disconnect. So bringing it back into who you are, where you are right now. And it is about going, well, what do I need right now? Where am I right now? And yes, it is presence, but I think it's sometimes a little bit more than just being present. It's about saying, what does, and and I, it doesn't matter what situation you're in, like what does this person need from me right now? So if you're in a conversation with somebody, whether it be challenging, loving, caring, if you can ask yourself, what does this person need from me from this conversation? Then you're there with them. You're not thinking about all the different strategies that can, you know, you want to give to them or where you need to go next. It sort of just slows everything down. Can you feel that? And I think we need to be really working on bringing ourselves back and stop being the observers of the detail of our lives. You know, so much detail, everyone. And I get it. I'm not somebody who like is always, you know, just have it all under under control. But what I do through practicing what I preach is I do have those moments, like I said, when I'm labeling something again or working through a cupboard, or, you know, even just feeling the tightness in my jaw, which is my knowing when I know that I've got a tightness in my jaw, that I need to take that step back and reconnect. And it's that stepping back and reconnecting that I would love for any listeners just to try, even if you don't remember anything about what we're saying, but for our listeners to go, can you take a step back and just take that moment to press pause? Because whatever happens in that is your next best step.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I I'm a great advocate for that as well. So, you know, for our listeners, they could just do that right now. They can just take a deep breath in and a deep breath out, and that's a great way to start because we can't go from a million miles an hour to zero. So I think just being being reminded of these things will help people greatly. You talk about taking that step back, and we usually we ask this question of Robin smiling on me, but what is it that you do? What is it that you do for fun?

SPEAKER_00

Fun's an interesting word because I feel like fun has shifted as I've aged, to be to be really honest, that my sense of fun doesn't feel like as as much fun as before. You know, younger, I have children who are leaving home. And so a lot of our fun has been, my fun has been around experiences with them. And it's interesting because just recently I've had conversations with friends about there is a reshaping happening and around what does fun look like when you're not connected to family activities? So this is not an answer. This is this is literally what's happening right now for me is going, you know, and it's not just about empty, it's not empty nest, it's just they don't need you as much anymore, and you don't go to all the sporting things like you did when you they were little, and a lot of your friendships are based on you know family and children and experiences you've had, you know, over that period of time. So for fun, definitely. Like I'm a very light-hearted person, like I love to laugh. So watching just funny movies that make me belly laugh, like is yeah, that that's my gig. But I do love going down to our property. We have a beautiful creek that runs through our property, taking our little Jack Russell dog down there and just watching him do zoomies is probably my most joyful moment when we're all down there. We're just, I don't know, just hanging out. Sounds very basic, but I think that's what it needs to be. And I also have lots of fun when I go to the gym. I go to a gym with all women and we work out so hard, like we just are exhausted afterwards. But throughout the whole thing, it's like, got it, you've got this, you've got this. So my fun, I guess, is I don't know. Actually, I'm just trying to think, is there a common element between all that? But it's just, I don't know, fine in the joy and fun in just really simple things. You know, I I don't ask for a lot, but I do like to, I don't know, just enjoy what I have right there and then and just make the most of that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, that that's a great piece of wisdom right there. And I just want to just reflect back to you that even as you were talking about all the little simple things that you do that bring you joy, you are just really glowing and lit up and smiling. And you can tell from an embodied, again, what does this when I think about doing these things? How do I feel? You could see that your body felt joyful. So I'm wondering just any last wisdom that you'd like to leave with our listeners about maybe like one or two very simple practices that you think could help them move the needle forward in terms of being more focused and less distracted in their lives.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. So the very first one would be the awareness part. So if you are asking your children to put their phones away, but you're sitting on your phone, that's an example of one. So wherever things are annoying you that other people are doing, I would encourage people to reflect and go, are you doing that yourself? Okay, so that's that's one. Another way when we talk about that, sort of tapping into our intuition is actually listening to what's happening. So if you're feeling a tightness in your jaw or if you're feeling like your heart's running fast, don't push through it. Use that as a moment just to go, okay, that thing's happening right now, whether it be a big deep breath, whether it be you do shift rooms, you go and have a walk, or you go and sit in the if it's at work and you sit on the toilet when you don't really need to go and you just sit there for a minute and have some time to yourself. So it is very much we have to do the awareness part, and it is about looking at your own behavior, but also recognize when those whispers pop up. And some we want them to be whispers and we want them to stay as whispers because we don't want something to be yelling at us because by then it usually means that we've pushed ourselves too far. So yeah, I that's probably the two things. And it's not always about phones, but you know, let's not set ourselves up for failure. We we we need them to call people and do a couple of things. We don't need it to take over our lives.

SPEAKER_03

Thank you, Angela. And where can people find you if they want to?

SPEAKER_00

Uh look, my website, angelockwood.com.au, is where probably everything is and it links to everything. But I just want to say thank you so much for having this space on the podcast on a with a podcast like this that's talking about these topics too, because it is so important. And I don't see that the speed of life is going to slow down naturally around us. So we are going to have to take some very conscious steps to slow it down for ourselves. And it's, you know, podcasts like this that give people that sort of doorway to understand and learn how to do that. So I would encourage people to have these, this podcast, podcast like this on their feed, because it's those moments where we just go, things are a little bit, you know, busy or out of out of whack for us or out of control. Listening to something like this just might be one of those moments to bring people back to center.

SPEAKER_03

Angela.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you so much. Yeah, thank you for joining us. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_03

Thank you for meeting us in this space really of reflection and realness. Your words have reminded us that wisdom isn't something that we acquire, it's something that we notice often in the small quiet moments between the noise. And to everyone listening, uh I invite you to take a pause after this episode. Don't rush to the next thing. But just let uh one sentence from today land and see where it leads you. Angela, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you. Thank you so much for tuning in to the Wisdom We Share podcast. We hope today's episode sparked some new insight, imagination, and practical tools you can integrate into your daily life.

SPEAKER_03

Continue this journey with us by subscribing, sharing, and dropping us a review. Until next time, stay wise.

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Anjani Amriit

Host
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Robin Wald

Host
Contributor

Angela Lockwood

Guest